Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Newsighted: What's in a Name

The term "newsighted" came to mind as I remember my baby boy, Cole. He was born with numerous, serious medical issues that made up a condition that doctors were unable to diagnose. One aspect of his condition that I think broke my heart the most was that Cole was blind. My son rarely opened his eyes, and when he did, usually just barely or for a very brief amount of time, he couldn't see. I wanted my son to see colors, the sky, flowers...everything, and most of all, the faces of all of us that loved him. Right before Cole died, his eyes were opened wide. They were blinking and moving. We were astounded! Did God give our son sight to see us before he left this earth? God can do anything, so that was a real possibility. What a gift that was; to see Cole's deep, dark, blue eyes for a sustained amount of time. We knew he was ready to leave us and was going to be okay. Now that Cole is in Heaven, his little body is new and perfect. I feel such joy when I think about all that Cole is doing and SEEING!

Not only does Cole have new sight, but so do I. Losing a child has changed the way I view life, death, God, my husband, you name it. Cole's life was short, but it was full of purpose. I may never know the full extent of God's purpose for Cole, but I know for certain that Cole had an impact on many, many people. I love this quote that I came across on a baby loss website, "There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world".

So true.

photos courtesy of Keri Dummerth Photography

UPDATE 2017: After nearly six years of extensive research, we received confirmation of a diagnosis. Cole had a rare genetic condition related to the RTTN gene. About ten to twelve cases have been reported in the world, and because it is so rare, his case will be reported in a medical journal and entered into a gene matching website (think, but for genetics). This information could potentially help doctors, researchers, and families with children with the same symptoms and characteristics who don't yet have a diagnosis. This is just another way God will use Cole's life for good.


  1. That was beautifully written! Your words gave me pause to stop & think about my own life. Even though I am not a touched my heart in many ways! Please keep writing.

  2. Thanks for your encouragement!

  3. Your son is absolutely beautiful. I'm glad you made the decision to share your grief story. I made the same decision around mothers day and I am finding it to be so healing. God bless you and your family!

  4. Thank you! May God bless you and your family as well.